Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
