By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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