This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
