Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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