he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize