I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
