I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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