i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
