Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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