The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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