You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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