You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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