the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
