Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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