I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
