She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
