Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
