I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
