This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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