i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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