she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
