party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
