actually, I'm a sock model
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
