I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
