You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
