I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
