I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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