so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
