I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i think i just lost a toe
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
