thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
