He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
