If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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