I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
