No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wanna passion pit in your ass
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
