Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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