what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we're making bets on your personal life
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize