I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
