You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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