I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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