I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
