he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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