Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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