I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
