So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize