Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize