thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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