he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
