i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant