Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Plan B is the new Plan A

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  (973): Plan B is the new Plan A http://tfl.nu/yxtj
  Replies (8) Good night (1062) Bad night (994)
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  (631): View more from New York

  My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

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  (631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc
  Replies (23) Good night (772) Bad night (2388)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.

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  (618): I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out. http://tfl.nu/syqz
  Replies (47) Good night (662) Bad night (5205)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...

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  (630): She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket... http://tfl.nu/7hai
  Replies (11) Good night (1387) Bad night (3536)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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  (215): My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.." http://tfl.nu/yyzh
  Replies (124) Good night (41310) Bad night (2832)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.

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  (503): I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over. http://tfl.nu/8vsu
  Replies (5) Good night (968) Bad night (2626)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.

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  (304): they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise. http://tfl.nu/xovb
  Replies (7) Good night (1370) Bad night (860)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.

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  (231): You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes. http://tfl.nu/m034
  Replies (3) Good night (1786) Bad night (703)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.

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  (617): Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee. http://tfl.nu/9xkv
  Replies (2) Good night (2100) Bad night (462)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

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  (410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc
  Replies (7) Good night (1152) Bad night (354)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.

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  (480): If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five. http://tfl.nu/ztzm
  Replies (1) Good night (516) Bad night (304)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.

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  (603): After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe. http://tfl.nu/65wu
  Replies (4) Good night (466) Bad night (1053)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.

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  (404): Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now. http://tfl.nu/qdkd
  Replies (20) Good night (1128) Bad night (510)
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  (227): View more from Maryland

  Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake

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  (227): Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake http://tfl.nu/ij8f
  Replies (7) Good night (362) Bad night (720)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.

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  (610): All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship. http://tfl.nu/y1t2
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (224)

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