be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
this boner is exhausting
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.