i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden