apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
