So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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