He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
