I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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