Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
