omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
