mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
