i just google imaged poop.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
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You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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