i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
